If Norman Rockwell and Frank Capra had collaborated on creating the perfect childhood summertime experience, the summers my brother and I had would have been their model. We were lucky to grow up in a neighborhood full of kids at a time where you could play outside freely without fear. Not that bad things didn’t happen, but our parents didn’t hoover over us at every moment which gave us the freedom to explore, do really stupid stuff, and learn a little about personal responsibility. We lived across the street from a park with swings, a butt-scorching metal slide and monkey bars. The city’s baseball field and football field were across from our home too. At the end of our block was the city’s marina and boat dock. We spent our days on the playground or playing out our favorite TV shows; Land of the Lost, Dark Shadows, and H.R.Pufnstuf. Mr. Seymour, our neighbor, built a tree house one year and it was the most wonderful thing that could have happened. It was on stilts so you had to climb a ladder to get in. The roof was thatched with palm fronds so it wasn’t an ideal place to be when it rained, but the entire neighborhood spent lots of time playing card games like Go Fish and War, board games like Sorry and just plain hanging out and talking. If we bothered to take a lunch break it would be quick and then right back outside to either run through someone’s sprinklers, beg one of our moms to set up the Slip and Slide (which never really quite worked like on TV) ride our bikes or swim in someone’s pool. There was no checking in with our parents, asking permission to swim or ride our bikes or go to the marina. My mom’s rule was once you’re in, you’re in – so my brother and I usually stayed outside until the unwritten parental rule of once the football and baseball lights turned on you came home. No one’s mom seemed to worry about our nutritional needs – when we were hungry we went home and ate. And there wasn’t the worry about applying sunscreen every 20 minutes or drinking enough water. If we were thirsty, we’d just drink from someone’s hose. I learned how to fish, ride a skateboard, catch tadpoles, do a round-off and front handspring, ride my bike without holding onto the handle bars, do a flip into the pool off our porch roof, and I even jumped off the marina’s bridge into the disgusting C-14 canal a few times. We would walk to Galaxy Skateway for afternoon roller skating and to the Farm Store for bubble gum and candy bars. Eddie the Ice Cream Man’s truck came down our street every afternoon around four so there was always a rush to get to your house and dig up some quarters for a screwball or ice cream sandwich.
Summers during the middle school and high school years were a lot different. It was all about the beach, the movies and the mall. Way back then parents weren’t so inclined to take on the role of chauffeur so when we wanted to go to any of those three must be seen at places we had to – get ready to gasp- ride the city bus! Today if a parent let their 12 year old daughter ride the bus to go to a movie or the mall or the beach without any parental supervision I’m sure they would be arrested and their mug shot would be shown nightly on Nancy’s Grace’s show as an example of a negligent parent. But that is how we got around back in the Little House on the Prairie days. And even though we were living in South Florida, the place to be seen on Saturday nights was Sunrise Ice Skating rink. Sleepovers were a weekly occurrence. And a little pizza place called Domino’s opened up and delivered the required sleepover pizza for only $5 each! And if the delivery driver took longer than 30 minutes, it was free! Guaranteed! My friends and I used to stand outside in the driveway and pray he would be late so we wouldn’t have to waste our well-earned babysitting money. Cable television was the latest and greatest and if you had both HBO and MTV – well you were living large! Once in high school you knew older students who drove so instead of the scary bus you just crammed yourself in with 7 other kids into their hand-me-down 1973 Volvo station wagon and you were off! Having a job was crucial because the realization that everything you wanted to do cost money suddenly hits you out of left field. Your once generous parents for some reason stop handing out cash like it was candy. And then that dark cloud – college – starts to hover lower and lower as each high school year went by and saving money suddenly became extremely important. And then you graduate and all of a sudden – poof – summer disappears.
I was terrified that first summer when I was a full-time stay-at-home mom. Until then I had the adult equivalent of a fairy godmother when it came to summer time. My in-laws would literally pick up my kids on the last day of school during their elementary years, take them to their house in South Florida, entertain them each day, take care of all their school shopping, then return them the weekend before the new school year would begin. When I would tell people this they would literally stare at me, mouth wide open in both awe and horror. How could I be away from my kids for so long? How could they get in-laws like mine? I missed my kids like crazy, but I wanted their summers to be as special as the summers I had and not just another day at their daycare center. So I did what I do best – I planned the perfect summer. I researched free and low cost activities in our area. I called other moms and made arrangements for picnics at parks and play dates at each other’s homes. I bought workbooks for the grades ahead so they wouldn’t be behind come the new school year. Each day had its own itinerary and I must say I was quite pleased with myself. On that first official summer day I woke my sleepy darlings and explained that we had exactly 25 minutes for breakfast because we were going to go on a guided nature walk at a local nature preserve. We’d have our lunch there in the picnic area and then come home and work on the first page of our school workbooks. I had put vocabulary flash cards for them to review in a zip lock bag in the backseat between their booster seats so as we drove not one moment was wasted. Day 2 we went to a puppet show at our library. Day 3 was free movie day at the theater near the mall. Day 4 we met some friends at our local YMCA splash park. Day 5 – nothing. I couldn’t even get them out of bed. “Are you feeling okay” I asked concerned. The Slimy Critter exhibit at the zoo was at 10:30 and if we didn’t get a move on we would miss the beginning. “Mom”, my oldest at the time asked, “can’t we just stay home and maybe play with our Barbies or something?” I looked into her 7 year old face and saw exactly the opposite of what I had tried to do. Instead of making summer magical I had turned it into something to be endured. My mom had never planned our summers. My brother and I did. If we complained about being bored there was always that standard mom answer “If you’re bored, I’ll give you something to do” so we just kept ourselves entertained. And on rainy days a little boredom wasn’t such a bad thing. It was the perfect time to daydream or read a book or just look out of the window and watch a South Florida summer storm complete with dramatic lighting bolts and booming thunder. So I smiled and said, “Sure, whatever you want. It’s your summer.” “Really?” she asked. “Can we have a pajama day?” “Absolutely!”
So the perfect summer plan got tossed and I have never planned another summer since. There are days we don’t do anything and there are days it seems like we have done everything and then some. Some nights we don’t eat dinner until 9pm and some mornings we don’t eat breakfast until noon. As my kids have gotten older our summers have changed with them. Last year my kid’s wanted to go on an old-fashioned road trip – planning everything themselves. There always seems to be a friend over for a night or the weekend. Each kid has their own activities that require them to attend summer camps and they now visit their grandparents one at a time for a week each. Some days we swim and stay in our swimsuits all day. And there are lots of pajama days of course! On rainy days we might play dozens of hands of the card game my kids are obsessed with, Dutch Blitz. We have a Wii and a PlayStation 3 so some nights we have a family bowling tournament that lasts well after midnight or our own version of Rock Band-Polooza! And as far as keeping up with school stuff – they know what’s on their required reading lists- it’s their choice to either read or not. So far their brains haven’t become too mushy!
No, my kids will never have a summer quite like I did. But even though it seems that the summers of my youth and the summers of theirs are vastly different the basics are still the same. Take each day and enjoy it. Feel free to accomplish something or to do absolutely nothing. Because the dark cloud of adulthood is looming. And before they know it, poof, their summers will have disappeared into wonderful memories. And hopefully they will get to pass on the wonderment of summer to their kids someday.
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